4. Evan Gattis, Houston Astros
Here we go. It’s time to appreciate how awesome El Oso Freaking Blanco is. Here is a 6’4″, 260-pound behemoth who has somehow managed to hit 11 triples. Triples are weird, baseball is weird. Gattis somehow managed to finish third in all of baseball with 11 triples and zero stolen bases.
I’m feeling this look! Very lumbersexual says the wife. He looks like he smells like a manly mixture of maple syrup, chopped wood, testosterone, and wool pants. He looks strong, his beard game looks strong, and the pose he is stuntin’ in the picture above is strong.
(Sidebar — can we admit that tacking LOS in front of ASTROS does nothing to honor Latino heritage? C’mon. You’re not really fooling anybody.)