I lied, it was Bartolo Colon who took the last pie .. err .. piece of pie.
And the last turkey, dressing, and six-pack.
OK, OK, enough with the fat jokes. I get those enough, just like Colon gets enough pie. I’m done!
But honestly, tell me with a straight face that Colon would not even get a second take at your Thanksgiving. He’s the dumpy old uncle that is ready to eat. He’ll strike up some small talk, elaborate on “that one time back in…” and tell you how Babe Ruth saw the ball in slow-motion and that’s the reason he was great.
Don’t hesitate to invite Colon over again next year, just make sure you cook an extra turkey. If you’re lucky, Colon might even invite teammate Juan Uribe to tag along. That could really spice up the football watching experience this Thanksgiving.