Arizona Diamondbacks: A laminator
Forgive me for starting with a crappy metaphor. It gets better, I promise.
On paper, the Arizona Diamondbacks have one of the most talented teams in baseball. Coming off a 2015 campaign in which they placed second in the National League in total runs scored, the D-Backs have added (so far) Zack Greinke and Shelby Miller to what was a very weak starting rotation, and they likely are not done yet.
So, why do they need a laminator?
As we have seen in years past, the best team “on paper” does not always translate to the best team on the field. Just last year, we saw the San Diego Padres go all in with their offseason acquisitions, only to crumble in the regular season and post a losing record for the fifth consecutive season. If Santa were to bring the Diamondbacks a laminator, maybe they could make that paper more durable and find themselves in a position to contend for a championship when October rolls around.
Stocking Stuffers: A mid-rotation starter, a notable middle infielder, and a new uniform designer.