How to Fix the All-Star Game

Every July, the superstars around baseball gather to participate in the All-Star Game festivities. It starts with Chris Berman calling the Home Run Derby, and it doesn’t end until World Series home-field advantage has been decided, which is fair because all players try their best and don’t groove fastballs to retiring players or anything. This cherished summer tradition creates a great break from the long season for players and fans alike, except there is one problem. You’d have to go way, way, way back to find an All-Star Game that hadn’t been corrupted by Internet hackers.

Ever since the MLB has started this “vote online, as many times as you want” voting process, the All-Star Game has gone from the truly best players in the league representing their teams to the cities who have the highest rates of unemployment overcrowding the field. Last year we had the entire state of Missouri, whose biggest export is free time, stuffing the online ballot box like it was their cousin after prom night. All-Star Game sponsor Esurance is now the leading insurance provider for 1997 Ford Raptor pickup trucks because of the event. This year the National league team is made up primarily of Cubs, mostly from the support of President Obama killing time until the end of his term.

1pic1Much like America itself, the current system rewards fans that don’t have much else going on in their lives and punishes fans who work hard to put food on the table. If you only have time to vote once, you are discouraged from voting at all. The government needs to intervene and fix this corrupt process.

Now generally I do not like the government sticking its nose where it doesn’t belong, but Rob Manfred has proven he can’t run the democracy all by himself. If the US of A can oversee the crucifixion of Barry Bonds, they can allocate a few hundred million dollars to fix voting. My proposal is simple: you should only be able to vote if you are a registered voter, and you should only be able to vote at your designated precincts.

By allowing voters to only be able to vote once they will be encouraged to make more educated voting decisions. They might even take a players health into account, as half of the current All-Stars are on the disabled list. It makes me wonder if these voters are on the mentally disabled list. This would also allow the MLB to stop Canada from electing Blue Jays bench players like Michael Saunders to the team. We would start asking what we can do for our country, instead of asking our country who Adam Duvall is.

The process would get millennials passionate about baseball again, something MLB has desperately needed for some time now. If there’s one thing millennials love, it’s volunteering their time for a political cause. We saw it with Bernie Sanders, the youth of today is fired up about voting. We would start to see college kids setting up card tables across campuses everywhere to make sure their peers are informed about this year’s candidates.


In a league with huge economic disparities between teams, Manfred should jump at this opportunity to level the playing field. If New York can keep Bernie Sanders out of the general election, America can keep the Kansas City Royals out of the festivities. Players would take the ASG more seriously with this measure intact as well. Currently, the players feel no sense of urgency to participate, as even they’re aware that half of their votes were just shoppers trying to get a car insurance quote. We are a ways from making baseball great again, but expect this measure to be President Obama’s lasting impact as we move forward.

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